Going natural definitely wasn’t easy, but it was easier than looking at myself everyday not fully loving who I truly was. Sure, I felt confident and beautiful with straight hair, you couldn’t tell me anything about my long loose waves, but I didn’t love me with curly hair.
I didn’t care or even think about the damage I was not only doing to my hair, but to my self-esteem. There was so much self-hate when it came to seeing my hair curly. Big, unruly, untamed, different, weird, ugly and frizzy-that’s all my curls were to me. When my hair wasn’t straight, or in loose waves, I lacked so much confidence and felt like I wasn’t me.
This time two years ago I had just started my journey to embracing my natural curls. My hair had been chemically straightened, had serious heat damage, and just wasn’t anywhere near where I wanted it to be. I experienced more self-hate and comparison at the start of my curly hair journey than I had with it straight. I was always comparing my curls to curls of other people and felt like my hair would never look as good as theirs. It scared me to think that my curls might not ever get back to what they were at all.
Today is a completely different story. For the first time in my life, I love my curls. I appreciate my texture, my pattern, and my uniqueness. Two years of using proper products, proper conditioning, and proper care, my curls are back and they’re better. There were plenty of times that I wanted to just give up, it wasn’t fun or easy to rock my curls through the transition phase, but it was worth it in the end. Leaving the house with curls that were weak, and totally lacking in definition was embarrassing. Parts of my hair were curly, parts where straight, parts had a wave, it was a total mess. One of my motivating factors in going natural, and regaining my curls, was living in New York.
This city is full of woman crowned with beautiful curls; it’s inspiring and uplifting to see that around you daily, that it kept me going. The curly girl community on social media also helped me out when I felt like giving up, all the curl transformations were so inspiring that I couldn’t give up. Good things come to those who wait, and that definetly is one thing to keep telling yourself during this process. So here are some tips and things to remember on your journey to regaining your curls.
- Tell yourself you’re beautiful every single day.
There are days your’e going to feel like not leaving the house, because of your hair. This may sound weird, but it will happen. Your hair is going to go through that akward phase you went through freshmen year, before it reaches senior year glory. I want you to be proud of the journey you decided to go on in regaining your curls, and don’t worry about the akward phase you’ll go through in the earlier stages. So get up, get out and embrace whatever curl situation you have going on at the moment.
2. Trust me it will get better.
It’s probably going to hit you at one point, all the damage you’ve done to your curls. The years of chemicals and straightening turned your curly locks into something totally different. Your curls didn’t get to that point over night, and they wont get back to what you want over night either. It will take time, but it will get better. One thing that helps get the journey on the right path is getting the right hair cut.
3. All curls need love
Don’t wrap yourself up in playing the comparison game, instead wrap that hair up with a silk scraf at night and don’t stress. Compairing your curls to others is only going to hurt you in the end causing unnecessary stress. Everyone has a different and unique curl pattern, and there’s nothing wrong with admiring someone else’s curls, but allow yourself to admire yours too. So what if you’ll never have a curly big fro? Embrace what you have and what you’re working towards, and focus on getting your curls back, not trying to get what someone else has. You can’t create your curls, you can only get them back to life and restore what you naturally have.
4. Trust the process
You’ll be going at it for a few months before you start to notice change, and after the first year you’ll probably still not be entirely where you want. You might get discouraged on lack of progress, but you have to trust the process. Finding the right products that work for you and sticking to a curly hair routine are crucial. Keep going and remind yourself why your’e doing this.
5. Your Curls, Your Way
No matter what you read online, or what someone says works for them, you’ll be the one who decides what works for you. Your curls, your way. There’s nothing wrong with using a technique or method that may seem weird, but if it works for you then it works for you. Fine tune your curly hair routine, and make it custom to you. Curls are unique, and so is the journey on getting your curls back. Regain your curl power and be confidently beautiful while doing so.